3rd World, 4th Dimension

On an island thirteen miles long, boredom is a constant problem. There’s just not much to do, unless you’re an alcoholic (as the ferry boat captain in the attached photo obviously is). For example, fifty-two thousand people share one small movie complex.

Happily there's a solution. It is common knowledge that civil employment equals a license to steal. Corruption has transcended the usual behind-the-scenes scenario and taken on a new form. It’s the primary source of entertainment.

When I visited six years ago, the head of the health department’s restaurant division was accused of selling inspection permits for five hundred dollars cash. As long as you paid, there wasn’t an inspection. (Salmonella became so prevalent that it started appearing on menus.) But if you didn’t pay up, you got closed down. One owner fought back. Two other restaurateurs corroborated his story. In response, the health department put the inspector on paid leave. They issued a statement saying they would look into it but added “we aren’t responsible for the unauthorized actions of any employee”. Then they went after the complainant. A disgruntled former employee surfaced who had been fired. He claimed there had been no blackmail. He also shared the same last name as the person supposedly being investigated.

The press smelled blood. They pressured the health department. In response, the director issued a statement explaining that they were unable to investigate due to lack of funding. I left the island shortly afterwards. But I’ll wager five hundred dollars that the inspector kept her job and the hapless restaurateur is now working in someone else’s kitchen.

A recent scandal involved the local hospital. The three directors were accused of diverting operating funds (totaling millions of dollars) into their private accounts. One defendant petitioned for the charges to be dropped, saying “the evidence would unfairly taint the jury”. I am not making this up. It ended up in a mistrial.

Last October, it was police corruption. Three officers were indicted for shaking down drug dealers. The evidence was so overwhelming that the jury was compelled to convict them. But no one has been sentenced. Did I mention that everyone is related here?

Desspite the high acquittal rate, enough people have been found guilty of crimes that the governor just signed a bill restoring convicted felons voting privileges. After all, how else would he get re-elected?

Violence is a big problem in St Thomas. On her sister island of St. Croix, it is twice as bad. Five people were injured in a knife fight over the weekend. One of them died. The perpetrators and victims were a group of 15-17 year old girls! Gun violence is even more prevalent. A well-intentioned legislator recently proposed a law to increase the penalty for possession of automatic weapons. It was voted down. The lawmakers said it infringed on people’s rights.
You don’t have to outright steal to get ahead here. Working for the IRS is the ideal meal ticket. Employees are routinely arrested for making up false social security numbers, paying those accounts unemployment compensation (or retirement benefits depending on their mood) and then cashing the checks. This has been going on for years. Amazingly, the workers are actually terminated when caught, but their replacements always seem to follow in their footsteps.

Real estate is also a fast track to riches. The DOT built a 1.5 million dollar bridge fourteen years ago that has no road connected to it. It’s aptly named “the bridge to nowhere” and is now a local attraction that the tour buses visit.

Then there is the new library has been under construction for so many years that it is a foregone conclusion it will never open. No one knows how much has been spent. When a senator tried to find out, the head of the appropriations committee wouldn’t allow him to look at the books. Anyone want to bet that his brother-in-law owns the construction company?

The new eight million dollar animal shelter was 95% complete three years ago. It sits empty. Faulty plumbing, leaking cisterns and shoddy construction are still being addressed and paid for.

The Parks Department recently acquired a four million dollar beach property. It is the same property they turned down three years earlier for two million dollars. No one has looked into the minor two million dollar discrepancy. Perhaps it’s due to lack of funding.

Meanwhile, as subsidies from Washington shrink and deficits rise, serious cutbacks are affecting government employment and services. This has those on the bloated government employee rolls outraged. Everyone else feels that the fowls have finally come home to roost, but no one believes that things will change much. Nor do they necessarily want them too. For one thing, they’d have to build another movie theater.