Fun in the Sun

I received a suggestion to write about the amusing things that happen in the rental car business. Try as I might, that dog don’t hunt.

I do have stories about people going postal. Like the guy who returned his car w/3 kids in tow.

“There was no one in your lot to take my keys!” he screamed. “I had to walk down here.”

“We don’t have an attendant, sir. And you’re in the terminal. You have to walk down here to catch your flight.”

He continued to rant about it being “unprofessional”. His kids kept looking up at him then down at their shoes.

I checked him in, handed over his receipt, raised my hand in salute and said “Have a nice flight”.

He thought I’d flicked him off. That started Round 2.

“How dare you do that in front of my children” he hollered.

“I was waving sir.”

“No you weren’t. You’re unprofessional!” (obviously his favorite word)

“No really sir. It was a wave.”

As he stormed off I thought “He’s like this after he’s had his vacation. What was he like when he got here?”

Fortunately most people are more complacent. I suspect it’s because they’re drunk. After boozing it up on a flight across the South Atlantic they wobble into the terminal. The first thing they pass is a complimentary rum stand. Then a bar. Then us. Clutching their cocktails, we rent them cars; including the guy who dumped his pina-colada on one of our hard drives. He knocked it over with his elbow. We watched it roll across the counter and into the vent of the HD. It made a crackling sound, shot out a few sparks then passed away in a puff of fragrant blue smoke.

It can also get physical. The person I replaced had gotten involved in a verbal altercation. Details are sketchy. But it ended with the customer jabbing the ignition key into the guy’s hand. The employee stood up, said to no one in particular “I don’t have to take this shit!” and walked out. He left on a plane 2 days later.

I’ll be doing the same soon. And perhaps something amusing will occur between now & then. But I’ll be keeping a wary eye on my clientele. I already have a scarred scalp to remind me of my tenure here.