Dinghies of Death (#25)

I thought I'd stay w/the death theme for a bit longer. After all, it's still winter.
If some unforeseen malady lands you in the hospital where you accidentally receive a full frontal lobotomy, you may have the sudden urge to buy a boat. That’s fine. Misery loves company. But you’ll also need a dinghy. That’s where the trouble begins. These necessary contraptions with noisy, wayward outboards and ill-fitted oars will make your initial purchase (as well as your unplanned operation) seem like child’s play. And regardless of your rapidly disintegrating mental state, do not under any circumstance get a collapsible one. Even if someone pays you to take it. They undoubtedly have it out for you.
Case in point: In a rare charitable mood, I offered a nice young couple a ride to the store since I was killing time sitting in the marina waiting for the Captain to finish working, once again, on our dinghy. In return, they offered to drop me at my boat if our dinghy wasn't ready which was almost a near certainly. Groceries in hand, we arrived back at the dinghy dock where I stared dumbstruck at this “thing” with an engine stuck on the back. It looked like it was made out of cardboard. Instead of a high bow to keep out the waves, it had a hole. It was obviously designed by a marine engineer with a warped sense of humor and had room for two people max. Anything more than a bag of balloons would’ve overloaded it. Undaunted, we climbed aboard and cast off. After all, my boat was only 300 yards away in the peaceful harbor. We never made it.
Halfway across, a squall blew in out of nowhere. In the pelting rain, waves started washing over and through the bow. We all moved backwards hoping to raise it. Subsequently, sea water started washing over the stern. So we sat stock still while the operator tried to steer and bale at the same time. My primary thought was, when we swamped, how I was going to keep my laptop dry. Tie it to my head? Tread water w/one hand? The rain suddenly ceased and half full of water, we diverted to their boat. An hour later, I hailed the Captain as he cursed his way past and made it home.
They couple have learned their lesson and have a different dinghy now. A good one. Tied to their deck is the old one. No doubt, they’re waiting for an in-law to visit.